Yesterday morning, I was excited to go to church. I picked out a black and white maxi skirt and a black shirt to match. I pulled out some mascara from my bag and liberally applied it to my eyes (not so much so that it clumped though). I usually don't wear makeup or skirts unless it is for a holiday. Easter is an acceptation to this rule of mine.
I remember getting up for Easter sunrise at my church. Harvest, back when I lived in California. I was mainly excited because that meant I could sit with the adults at the "big-people" service and I got hot chocolate. I heard the same message for most of my young person life. That on this day, Jesus rose again from the dead three days after he was hung on the cross. That he died and took the sins of the world upon himself so that we may be forgiven and join him in Heaven when we die. John 3:16 would be mentioned and the whole church would say it together in unison. I knew the Easter story forwards and backwards. I recall that some years, I would tune out and try to find a connection with God through the sunrise. I would stare off into the distance and try to feel God's presence. Sometimes, I felt Him. Other times, I think my mind was too focused on receiving warmth from the sun instead of feeling God's presence.
After the service, I would dress up, just like I did yesterday morning. I would dress up to go to one of my grandparents' houses to eat brunch and make Easter dinner. I don't know who I was trying to impress. I just wanted to look nice and maybe receive a complement or two about how nice I looked.
I realize now how different Easter meant to me when I was younger and what it means to me now.
Easter when I was younger meant Easter baskets, hot chocolate, a cold morning, and my Dad and Grandpa trying to remind us what Easter was really about. I knew the story of Easter so I kind of numbed myself to it. It was just another important day in the Christian life like Christmas was. I dressed up, ate glorious ham and potatoes, then went to bed.
This year, Easter felt completely different to me.
I believe this was my first Easter away from my family so it was up to me to get myself out of bed and go to church. It was up to me to understand the message and it was up to me to sing along to the worship.
When I was getting dressed for Easter this year, I felt that I was dressing up nice for God. I mean He died and rose again after going through hell just for us. I felt like it was the least I can do. Plus Revelation 19:7-9 says, " Let us rejoice and exult and give him the glory.... and his Bride has made herself ready; it was granted her to clothe herself with fine linen, bright and pure”. I know that this verse is referring to the church itself when Jesus returns, but I still like to imagine that I can reflect this in myself as well.
I wanted to get ready for God in that I was physically and mentally ready to accept what He was trying to tell me. I wanted to be filled with His spirit and learn who, exactly, gave His life for me.
I got to church and sang through the first few songs even though I had never listened to them before. I made it through alright. I had just felt severely disconnected for some reason. I don't understand why. I wanted so badly to feel God's presence. I wanted so badly to stop having doubts about how strong my faith is. I just wanted to enjoy the living God. But I couldn't during those first two songs. I was distracted.
I started worrying that I would hear the same message. Don't get me wrong, the core of the Easter story is phenomenal and should not be taken lightly. But I had heard it all before. Hearing a repetition of the story would tell me nothing new about the God I so desperately want to know more about.
Then a song came that made me automatically cry. It was shocking to me because I hadn't been emotional before the song. Not in the slightest. The tears blurred my vision and started streaming down my face. When I tell you I felt God's presence, I FELT God's presence. He was totally speaking to me through the word's of the song.
"What a Wonderful Name it Is,
What a Wonderful Name it is,
the Name of Jesus Christ
My King".
WOW!The words that stuck out to me the most were "wonderful" and "King".
Wonderful because saying Jesus's name out loud holds so much power. I'll give you a minute to try it out for yourself.
I remember saying Jesus's name aloud when I would be heavily overwhelmed and crying my eyes out. He would calm me. I wouldn't automatically stop crying, but I would be able to breathe and slow my thoughts down so I could stop crying. I told you, His name hold so much power.
The next word, King, has so much power as well. The fact that a KING laid down His life for every single human soul on this earth is extraordinary and unheard of. God had the power to just smite us all or ignore us or even to just make us perfect, but He wanted to show us what love really is and what a true king does for his children. He came into this world vulnerable as a baby, lived a life of persecution, then died so that we can go to Heaven if we accept Him as our Lord and Savior.
That is the God that I want to get to know and live for.
Such an infinite, powerful God loves us enough to come into our sin-ridden world, live a life free of sin, then die for us so the sins we commit don't land us in Hell.
I am so thankful that God has shown me who He is over the years so I don't numb myself to the power the Easter story holds. I am incredibly thankful to know, God and continue to learn new, amazing things about Him.
I am excited to get to know Him more and share the truth of who He is to you all.
-Sam
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